The Magical Power of Love
I have realized this past year that I am not as good at “love” as I thought I was. I imagined myself to be this selfless, kind hearted person who loves freely and unconditionally. After all, my life for the past fifteen plus years has revolved around people other than myself. What I have discovered recently, however, is that while I do genuinely love people, my love muscles could stand to grow a little bit. And, like any other muscle, the way these “love muscles” grow is only through use. Also like other muscles, you get a little sore when you first begin to deliberately exercise them. However, the good news is that unlike other muscles, there is something magical that happens when you begin to be intentional at love.
I had known this all in part, but this past summer this truth became a life-line of sorts for me. As you know, this past year was not the easiest for me. There were a lot of very good things to be very thankful for. But, there was also some sadness and loss that were very difficult. One night I was sitting in a chair in our living room. The kids were in bed and my husband was working late. I was grieving. And, I was wondering how I was going to stop feeling so sad. I have grieved before, but this somehow felt a little different. It wasn’t a despair without hope or anything like that, but…I don’t know how to explain it, other than this time the sadness seemed to go a little deeper. The beauty of the world, of my world, seemed…a little less colorful. A little bit out of reach. I was wondering if things would always be this way, if there was any way out of it. That is when I heard the Lord once again whispering to my heart. And what He whispered was, “Love.”
“Love.” It was whispered gently, but it I knew it was a command. I was supposed to love. I resolved that each day I was going to do something, anything, that could be considered an act of intentional love. It didn’t matter if it was big or small or who the recipient of it was. Equipped with my goal, I went to sleep that night. When I woke up in the morning, my goal was at the forefront of my mind. I didn’t suddenly feel “all better”, but my day did have a purpose that gave me a sense of peace. My eyes were off of myself as I looked for my moment to intentionally love that day.
I soon had my chance. My husband had generously given me a gift card to go and get new tennis shoes. (Which, by the way, is something I had wanted.) It was for more than I had ever spent on shoes before. I was excited about it and had the opportunity to stop by and pick up a pair on my way home from a meeting at church. While I was there, I was looking through all the shoes and saw there was a pair on sale. It wasn’t quite as pretty as another pair that had caught my eye, but it was quite a bit cheaper. (And, yes, I know that tennis shoes need to be more than just “pretty”–but you don’t have to sacrifice style to be functional!) I realized that if I got a pair of cheaper shoes, my husband could have the gift card to go towards a pair of shoes for himself. So, I intentionally put the pretty ones back and limited myself to trying on cheaper ones. I found a pair that were comfortable and would still leave quite a large balance on the card. Happily I bought them, headed home and presented the gift to my husband.
I know this wasn’t a huge act of kindness. But, I was being intentional about showing someone love. I got my eyes off of myself, and I have to say, it felt really good.
Over the next several weeks, I made sure to do one act of intentional love each day. I kept a list on my phone to make sure that I was making my goal. Sometimes these were things that happened through out the course of my day–like making a favorite dessert for my kids, or being patient and offering kind words to a flustered cashier at Target. Other times I had to go out of my way–such as making a meal to deliver to a family I knew, or arranging to have people over for special dinners or “playdates”. Sometimes things weren’t merely inconvenient, but were outside of my comfort zone–like when I purposely encouraged a stranger while we were at the State Fair.
I could go through my list, but the point isn’t the specific things I did. It is that when I began to look for opportunities to love, not only did I add some joy to the people around me, but it did something in me. This experience opened my eyes to how magical love really is. It heals everyone it touches–those that give it and those that receive it. (Sometimes it is even a healing balm to people who simply witness it!) When my eyes stopped being on myself, it wasn’t that I suddenly had no more sadness, but it definitely lessened. And the world began to look beautiful again.